Good stuff Sasha. Can relate. Also, may I offer void "scent" as an alternative to void "smell?" I like the positive connotation of scent (and it fits with you fragrance flirtations ;) ).
I am confused. Let me explain my confusion. In your first paragraph, you refer to "the presence of being" and "unmediated experience" as the things we feel a need to fuck with or avoid. This, I think I understand.
Then, in the rest of the piece, you transition without explanation to referring to that thing as "the void." This, I don't understand. How is the presence of being or unmediated experience a void?
If I were suddenly to die of an aneurysm, I'm quite sure the universe would continue on without me. There is no void in that case, except subjectively for me. And while I remain alive, even less is there a void, just the rest of the universe. Which I agree can be scary or anxiety-making in all the ways you describe. But I still don't get the angle of it being a void.
so my experience is that there is a fear of... annihilation? not being a person? everything falling apart? unless we poke at it, because we feel the encroachment of not being a self, not being able to grab on and control, it's fear of falling into a void, the sense of voidness being terrifying
however, the experience of actually leaning into that non-identity, or non-doing, or voidness, is that the blankness is what precedes/furnishes/creates every moment of experience, and that getting closer to it brings you into the freshness of being — this is, as far as i can tell, what everybody is going on about when they say "form is emptiness and emptiness form"
Well said. It reminds of this Adya quote, taken from a book he wrote in his lesser-known iconoclastic persona:
"At the core of the false self is a void of deficiency derived from an essential turning away from one’s own divinity, either out of natural development, despair, or simply by succumbing to the trance of the world with all its masks of deception and harsh obligation to conform to its insanity. The false self orbits around this vacuous abyss at its core, in silent terror of its nameless, faceless threat of oblivion."
—Adyashanti. The Way of Liberation:(p. 13). Open Gate Sangha. Kindle Edition.
Interesting that you included the quote from McLeod about death. It's the only part of the piece where you mention death. If you go deeper there, what would you say is the relationship between the void and death? Are they the same thing? Does getting comfortable with the void make you more comfortable with death?
Also liked the part about "void smell." This is something I've experienced before in others but never had words for. I've often noticed it as a "glassy" look in their eyes. Perhaps this is just because these people are more comfortable with eye contact and I spend more time looking into their eyes, compared to other interactions.
Sasha, if you aren't already familiar, I think you'd enjoy Shargrol's Post Compilation. A lot of grounded meditation advice on a similar frequency to yours. It's some of the greatest stuff I've ever read, and it may help you in finally untying the knot in perception.
Good stuff Sasha. Can relate. Also, may I offer void "scent" as an alternative to void "smell?" I like the positive connotation of scent (and it fits with you fragrance flirtations ;) ).
Yes. Love this paradox—My greatest fear (annhilation) is also my greatest desire (ego death).
Sasha, thank you for this post!
I am confused. Let me explain my confusion. In your first paragraph, you refer to "the presence of being" and "unmediated experience" as the things we feel a need to fuck with or avoid. This, I think I understand.
Then, in the rest of the piece, you transition without explanation to referring to that thing as "the void." This, I don't understand. How is the presence of being or unmediated experience a void?
If I were suddenly to die of an aneurysm, I'm quite sure the universe would continue on without me. There is no void in that case, except subjectively for me. And while I remain alive, even less is there a void, just the rest of the universe. Which I agree can be scary or anxiety-making in all the ways you describe. But I still don't get the angle of it being a void.
so my experience is that there is a fear of... annihilation? not being a person? everything falling apart? unless we poke at it, because we feel the encroachment of not being a self, not being able to grab on and control, it's fear of falling into a void, the sense of voidness being terrifying
however, the experience of actually leaning into that non-identity, or non-doing, or voidness, is that the blankness is what precedes/furnishes/creates every moment of experience, and that getting closer to it brings you into the freshness of being — this is, as far as i can tell, what everybody is going on about when they say "form is emptiness and emptiness form"
will think on this
Well said. It reminds of this Adya quote, taken from a book he wrote in his lesser-known iconoclastic persona:
"At the core of the false self is a void of deficiency derived from an essential turning away from one’s own divinity, either out of natural development, despair, or simply by succumbing to the trance of the world with all its masks of deception and harsh obligation to conform to its insanity. The false self orbits around this vacuous abyss at its core, in silent terror of its nameless, faceless threat of oblivion."
—Adyashanti. The Way of Liberation:(p. 13). Open Gate Sangha. Kindle Edition.
Mm so lovely to hang up one's mind to rest sometimes. 🧡
I love this so much. That's my "good take" on this piece.
get in, me and the homies are gonna go sniff around the void like newborn dogs
i'm in
Interesting that you included the quote from McLeod about death. It's the only part of the piece where you mention death. If you go deeper there, what would you say is the relationship between the void and death? Are they the same thing? Does getting comfortable with the void make you more comfortable with death?
Also liked the part about "void smell." This is something I've experienced before in others but never had words for. I've often noticed it as a "glassy" look in their eyes. Perhaps this is just because these people are more comfortable with eye contact and I spend more time looking into their eyes, compared to other interactions.
Sasha, if you aren't already familiar, I think you'd enjoy Shargrol's Post Compilation. A lot of grounded meditation advice on a similar frequency to yours. It's some of the greatest stuff I've ever read, and it may help you in finally untying the knot in perception.
You are speaking my language 💖🙏
The void. Scary but so freeing...
Beautiful.
'...everything about you is a flashy costume that transience is currently wearing.' Wow, I love this
And what a flashy costume it is! Such a gift to be a transient here on Earth.
you are starting to nail down the writing on this topic!