It would be interesting to see the opposite for each one of these. If you don't tell yourself to "try harder" in these specific situations, what are the alternative good strategies?
The trouble with 'Try harder!' is that there is always another message in the subtext which gets reaffirmed, bashed around your head... that subliminal message is: "I'm not good enough".... "still not good enough".... "never good enough, no matter how hard I try."
In my experience, taking the time to strategize, or at least choose a better direction, is much more effective than beating my head against the wall harder.
Yes!! Resonate with this a lot since I was brought up in a culture where hard work/suffering was glorified. You can work hard and still achieve results without suffering! Plus it’s much more sustainable that way.
This is serendipitous, I had come to this exact conclusion this week. Thank you, I feel supported. :)
I second an earlier comment that said it would be interesting to see alternative responses. The opposite seems to be 'Let go' -- of an idea or an idealization. Starting with the idealization that trying harder will work. Acceptance begins there, I think.
Probably what I find hard or anxiety inducing in letting go of 'trying harder' is that if I accept and let go, then I need the humility and courage to realize that I don't actually know what will work, and that I am not sure I have the courage to try what might work.
It would be interesting to see the opposite for each one of these. If you don't tell yourself to "try harder" in these specific situations, what are the alternative good strategies?
Very relatable. Thank you 🙏
The trouble with 'Try harder!' is that there is always another message in the subtext which gets reaffirmed, bashed around your head... that subliminal message is: "I'm not good enough".... "still not good enough".... "never good enough, no matter how hard I try."
There is no try, only do. -Yoda
In my experience, taking the time to strategize, or at least choose a better direction, is much more effective than beating my head against the wall harder.
Yes!! Resonate with this a lot since I was brought up in a culture where hard work/suffering was glorified. You can work hard and still achieve results without suffering! Plus it’s much more sustainable that way.
As a Tibetan Buddhist lama once said to me, "trying doesn't work."
Thanks for this one, Sasha.
Amen. Motion ≠ progress
This is serendipitous, I had come to this exact conclusion this week. Thank you, I feel supported. :)
I second an earlier comment that said it would be interesting to see alternative responses. The opposite seems to be 'Let go' -- of an idea or an idealization. Starting with the idealization that trying harder will work. Acceptance begins there, I think.
Probably what I find hard or anxiety inducing in letting go of 'trying harder' is that if I accept and let go, then I need the humility and courage to realize that I don't actually know what will work, and that I am not sure I have the courage to try what might work.
I believe this is also first cousin to “do something” disease.