16 Comments
May 23, 2023Liked by Sasha Chapin

i can say - from personal experience - that getting married to someone with who both provides deep comfort and deep perplexity is a tenable long term path.

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What a fascinating post. I think you totally could/should write more about about the “start at a 7/10” line of thought. Also, obsessed with “I’m like, why is he saying this?” as a response to an emailed love letter. She’s just so real for that. Do you ever worry about the gap between your fairly emotive + expressive style and her more reserved ones? Is that too personal of a question? (Like, I get this is a pretty overtly personal blog but it still feels weird.) Anyway, congratulations and best of luck in two weeks.

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founding

"Look for someone you can't initially understand, but also don't feel like walking away from." Hmm. Reminds me of the early stages of getting to know the man I married, although the circumstances were different. We're still married. And we're your parents.

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i love this post so much. there are several lines which remind me vividly of my relationship with my partner, and i adore how you crafted your words to evoke that feeling.

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May 23, 2023Liked by Sasha Chapin

So heart melting, omg. Beautifully written. As someone very vocal, married to a silent person, I'm sure I can say you'll learn how to notice her mood by the slight changes in her facial expressions, posture and so on. And finding those cues out will be intriguing and marvelous. Best of happiness to you and her, congratulations on finding a partner in such a crazy world!

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Congratulations you two! ❤️ Your story reminds me of how my husband and I started dating, I moved in very fast without even intending to, and then we had to figure it out together somehow. In my experience so far it only gets better from there 😊

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What a wonderful entry! Thank you Sasha! It sounds very special & explorative! There seems tobe a lot of intensity, aliveness & mystery. I wish you two all the best!

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Congratulations! And this is one of the best things I've ever read on falling in love. Keep taking notes. You'll have a book eventually. A lovely book.

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This is objectively good.

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Congratulations!

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May 23, 2023Liked by Sasha Chapin

That last sentence!

♥️

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Yay sashaaa

Love is so great. I’m happy for you :)

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So touching, your raw honesty and open vulnerability!

About the long silences: I know this very well from the other side, and also how my partner feels because she is very vocal about it. It is a long learning process for me to amplify my thoughts because they are, I feel, often shameful or angry, feelings that I learned to absorb and turn inwards. On the outside I'm "fine", just distant and lack of energy.

Harville and Helen Hendrix, their book and workshop, are life changer. We practice the imago once a week at least. It's always hard for me to start but I'm always grateful that I do. Check it out!

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I was tearing up at the end. What an amazing read. What an amazing ending: "Maybe it helps if you date the most fascinating person you’ve ever met, if you always want to hear them say one more word." Thank you for writing this! More please!

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So beautiful 🧡

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Super interesting post; thank you for sharing. I loved this line: "Our moments together weren’t seamless, but they were saturated with aliveness."

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