40 Comments

I love this post. I love this very much. It's reminding me of a time at a party when a bunch of us were tasting a few bottles of wine. People were trying to use "wine" words to describe their experience, but that felt bland because none of us were familiar. Instead I suggested that we try to describe the wine in terms of scenes and metaphors like "this tastes like reading a book on a quiet afternoon with some friends who aren't quite close yet." Turned out to be super fun and engaging!

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Goddamn Sasha. Thank you for this gift. I loved your line “You know this is really working when you feel pride for the success of the creator, like they’re a friend and you earnestly want to send them an email thanking them for what they’ve done.”

Reading your stuff often makes me want to do that. Note to self: actually hit send

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also— ask someone you love who loves the thing to explain why they do!

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What the hell sasha. Why are you rad

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Thank you Sasha for this awesome collection! It really is amazing how a bit more focus can reveal so much nuance in everything.

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This is wonderful, and I was surprised by how many actionable tips you were able to articulate. The emphasis on enjoyment as an almost contemplative art reminded me of classical Indian tantric writers.

I recently memorized Keats' Ode to a Nightingale, an 80-line poem, and the detail I latched onto was the line "Perhaps the self-same song that found a path through the sad heart of Ruth." It's now one of my favorite examples of alliteration :)

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solid detail, also goat description of wine in verse i think

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“Oh for a draught of vintage, that hath been cool’d a long age in the deep-delved earth…” it gets better from there!

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Wow what a brain full of joy you have, thank you for sharing.

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Happy new year. Post reminded me why I subscribed in the first place. Cheers!

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Great article! I was reading my notes on the Savoring book last night.

You linked to Kanye West's White Dress, not Lana Del Rey's.

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An unforgivable error, now corrected, thank you...

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There are a lot of things I love and connect with in this post. None more than the callout of “You Oughta Know” having a sick and overlooked bass line. Yes.

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Beautiful, smooth, and helpful. Your writing supports me in getting in touch with the richness of life. Thank you <3

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I appreciate the specificity of examples you give--makes this useful even if the overall concept isn't new to someone. I'll use this to help inspire my further engagement w various :)

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Oh shit. Sasha, I will write to *a thoughtful fan email *soon apparently. I am just amazed by it. How long did it take you to write it? How did you started to collect these micro-skills? I really wonder the backstage of this piece.

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You created the opposite of an anti-meme, a self-amplifying meme — a meme that self-perpetuates, strengthens and bootstraps itself while you are processing it in a way beyond normal passive memetic catchiness.

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I have taught myself to like foods I found repulsive. How? Olives - I 'd lick a home made olive and toss it out. I'd do this 4-5 days, then I'd bite into it and toss the olive, for 4-5 days. After 10 days I found I enjoyed the olive and now am a lover of olives. It's good to practice with a quality product, I.e. sipping a deeply aromatic coffee for two weeks. Who liked beer the first time?

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“Who liked beer the first time” strikes me as profound. Taste can be cultivated.

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Oh god, these are things I already do, mostly subconsciously.

Funny you mention enneagram, I'm a 6w7. And 6/7 "line" (as it's referred to) in its super negative extremes is associated with the borderline personality style, which is in turn associated with extraordinarily high highs and crushingly depressing lows.

One problem with this extreme perceptual engagement is that it is hard for me to enjoy something twice without temporal distance. I have a relatively good memory, so if I've soaked every last drop up from a song or film or meal, the idea of "repeating it" is much less compelling than when every moment is dripping with novelty and shock. (Hyper-attenuation is also a 7ish problem.) The simpler the thing/fewer details, the easier it is to get tired of it. It's easier to repeat things when the experience itself is too complex to soak in all at once (like Emursive's interactive shows.) Your point about teasing out "begrudging enjoyment" and loving something so much you find its flaws is also in-line with the frustration object relation of E7. 7s are often not conscious of the ways they propagate their own frustration, and in bad moments tend to experience the world as consistently lacking, or so small they could wrap their hand around it.

PS: Addictions never get tiring for most people—another thing 7s are prone to, as a "solution" to the need for constant novelty and stimulation.

Another problem with it is that I am not able to drink in the peaks of my enjoyment without also being fully aware of and honest with myself about lows. I will basically be left writhing in agony over certain experiences and not in a good way—it's been that way since I was 8 years old. When my overall affect is dulled from medication, sleep deprivation, mental illness, etc., it can be the case that I'm significantly more stable, but I experience life as less meaningful.

Third, it's interesting that your enjoyment is so overt that others notice it. I'm broadly considered a closed-off, calm, unexpressive person to a fault among most people. Only people who are very close to me for long spans of time pick up on this "you are way too emotional/intense" element. (Though sometimes people comment on bits which leak through—having posture "like a coiled spring" or constantly bursting to have something to say in conflict-prone conversations.) So I'd like to note that it's not necessarily the case that intensity of experience and affect are correlated, though they often are.

Fourth, unfortunately the things which unlock scream-worthy enjoyment seem to be highly subjective across people. So if I want to teach somebody to enjoy music more, it's often not going to work by showing them the parts I specifically get all worked up over. These mismatches can be isolating.

Lastly, your experience as a perfumist trying to capture perfect scents is given more dimension through this post, at least to somebody like me who doesn't know you.

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