Here's my take on it. I won't wax poetic, but I've been there. I've looked right into it, and, as it, I've looked right into myself, all at the same time.
After a long time in this infinite "superdirectional gazing" situation, Small I realized Big I had wanted this Little I, had created it, sort of like wanting to birth a profound piece of art and then look at it really hard, really soak it in. Big I had created a lot of art, maybe all the art, and part of the art was about how the various pieces of art interacted.
And yeah, the creative force / intention of the Big I is something I would describe as profound, bottomless love.
So Little I is at peace being Little I as much Little I can be, to find out what this little piece of art is all about, to really soak it all in, to Big I's infinite pleasure. And yeah all the pieces, they get pretty fucking weird sometimes, which makes sense if you think about what you'd do after you'd already soaked in the first quadrillion zillion of them.
So yeah, I think the anti-meme frame is cool, and maybe the evolutionary pressure angle is right, but from the inside, that time, it felt like the obvious choice to just go be my little self. Like it would be a waste for this particular little piece of art to try to be the creator when this one is so small and brief anyway, and the Big I is so... big. There would be time for everything later. This, now.
Oh yeah totally, there's a way of noticing the anti-meme and not obsessing over it, letting it inform you but not becoming a monk or whatever -- I think what I'm talking about is more just straight-up forgetting it was there, which it sounds like you haven't done! Not rejecting the 'little self' is I think part of what the anti-meme wants, if I were to guess.
Here's my take on it. I won't wax poetic, but I've been there. I've looked right into it, and, as it, I've looked right into myself, all at the same time.
After a long time in this infinite "superdirectional gazing" situation, Small I realized Big I had wanted this Little I, had created it, sort of like wanting to birth a profound piece of art and then look at it really hard, really soak it in. Big I had created a lot of art, maybe all the art, and part of the art was about how the various pieces of art interacted.
And yeah, the creative force / intention of the Big I is something I would describe as profound, bottomless love.
So Little I is at peace being Little I as much Little I can be, to find out what this little piece of art is all about, to really soak it all in, to Big I's infinite pleasure. And yeah all the pieces, they get pretty fucking weird sometimes, which makes sense if you think about what you'd do after you'd already soaked in the first quadrillion zillion of them.
So yeah, I think the anti-meme frame is cool, and maybe the evolutionary pressure angle is right, but from the inside, that time, it felt like the obvious choice to just go be my little self. Like it would be a waste for this particular little piece of art to try to be the creator when this one is so small and brief anyway, and the Big I is so... big. There would be time for everything later. This, now.
Oh yeah totally, there's a way of noticing the anti-meme and not obsessing over it, letting it inform you but not becoming a monk or whatever -- I think what I'm talking about is more just straight-up forgetting it was there, which it sounds like you haven't done! Not rejecting the 'little self' is I think part of what the anti-meme wants, if I were to guess.
Damn Sasha, you’ve put in words very well what I feel about this. Especially the “seeing the light” and then “falling asleep” again (as I call it).