so many ideas from your writing have made it into, like, the deepest infrastructure of my soul, and "a shipwreck of your expectations" is on its way to the same place. thank you for this piece. so piercing and tender as always
as a society, we relegate grief to being a deep sadness of what was and what could've been. but there's another flavor of grief that we don't talk much about: the we-made-it-to-the-other-side-despite-life-being-over-and-are-now-playing-in-the-ruins type of grief
a joy in grieving the life that could've been
beautiful essay, Sasha – grateful for the words you put into the complexity of shipwrecks and ruins
my first attentive visit to your sub, and glad of that. Your writing is engaging, lyrical with notes of truth, if not mine then yours or def somebody's. As a Buddhist and Mindfulness teacher it rings a bell that invites me to breathe and find my ground; that's special and worth a note of gratitude. I really should subscribe, shouldn't I? may you experience happiness and ease..
This is such a beautiful read, thank you for writing it. Whenever I notice past "magical thinking" (just as a short hand to what you're describing here) it makes me curious about any current magical thinking.
Gently and with curious compassion: what am I not seeing now? What is the color and shape of the barely tangible film that is obscuring/altering everything currently in front of me? Especially as it pertains to decision making about the near and far future. As it pertains to identity and limiting beliefs. Of course it's impossible to see all of it even with well intentioned inquiry but to assume it isn't there at all and that I've now arrived in some place of total clarity is limiting in the exact same ways that are retrospectively legible/obvious.
Sasha, you are a treasure! I am twice your age with half your wisdom, so I always benefit from your writings. Thank you so much for the willingness to be so honest.
Great post, Sasha. I resonate so much with everything you say here. And your far-beyond-mediocre writing is a joy to read!
THIS:::"When this happens—when expectation breaks down, and you are living in a shipwreck of your expectations—a precious state of being can dawn, if you’re lucky. This is the state of Playing In The Ruins."... for example, is excellent, both in content as in writing style.
'Playing in the Ruins' (great image). For me the turning point was always when I realised :: this is temporary. I'm on my way out. In that moment I could genuinely appreciate the situation for what it was and become curious about what would happen next.
Ah, "the scrapyard it is." I can so relate to this and thank you for this beautiful piece. This realization, for me, has been both terrifying and wondrous, as if seeing it for the first time, as Eliot says. Aging, among other things has brought me here. I am the sum of all the things of my life, and I am none of them.
I love this. Penned a similar piece on this sentiment: “Alongside death and taxes, existence all but guarantees suffering, heartbreak, tragedy.
These elements are near-impossible to see.
When you go about your day, you are seldom aware of the woman reeling from heartbreak, the man sliding into dementia, the terrified child en route to abusive household.
Though horrific, these things make us, are us, imbue us. They mean we have not merely existed, but instead lived.
To be human is to have warts and wrinkles and scars.
To be wise is to love each and every one.
Ashes nourish soil.
Refuse bears fruit.
Crucifixion can represent perfect love.
We are all broken in some way. That, ironically, is what makes humanity whole.”
At your best, your writing opens some weird channel between my self and something mysterious and spiritual and deeply alive. I feel like I have to sit down before I read one of your posts in case it’s another gut wrencher.
I can’t believe how many great posts I’ve read by you and been too lazy to even hit the like button. Sorry, I enjoyed them all.
I am coming from a place of high relatability to what you've written. Almost seemed like taking thoughts out of my head. I recently came across this book 'Why Greatness Cannot be Planned' which I find on similar lines. That it's difficult to track bath a path from an ambitious goal you might have and follow it. Having such a goal in itself is deceptive in a way. The conclusion is to take the next step driven by seeking novelty and satiating curiosity and after stepping a few stones, you would find yourself in a place which might not be what you had in mind at the beginning but you would be happy, comfortable and content with where you've reached.
Great few Phrases: "It’s not like I don’t believe in goals and planning, dreams and ideals. It’s just that I believe that they should drive you into the unknown, to the place where you are drowning and some part of you has to move." Thank You!
Quit my job today. This is a lovely piece and it could not be better timed. I’d rate your writing as considerably better than mediocre fwiw.
Quitting my job this coming Monday. Well timed, and well written indeed!
so many ideas from your writing have made it into, like, the deepest infrastructure of my soul, and "a shipwreck of your expectations" is on its way to the same place. thank you for this piece. so piercing and tender as always
rilka!! did not expect to see your name here today :D sending love from 248<3
as a society, we relegate grief to being a deep sadness of what was and what could've been. but there's another flavor of grief that we don't talk much about: the we-made-it-to-the-other-side-despite-life-being-over-and-are-now-playing-in-the-ruins type of grief
a joy in grieving the life that could've been
beautiful essay, Sasha – grateful for the words you put into the complexity of shipwrecks and ruins
Beautiful. Really needed to read this today.
my first attentive visit to your sub, and glad of that. Your writing is engaging, lyrical with notes of truth, if not mine then yours or def somebody's. As a Buddhist and Mindfulness teacher it rings a bell that invites me to breathe and find my ground; that's special and worth a note of gratitude. I really should subscribe, shouldn't I? may you experience happiness and ease..
This is such a beautiful read, thank you for writing it. Whenever I notice past "magical thinking" (just as a short hand to what you're describing here) it makes me curious about any current magical thinking.
Gently and with curious compassion: what am I not seeing now? What is the color and shape of the barely tangible film that is obscuring/altering everything currently in front of me? Especially as it pertains to decision making about the near and far future. As it pertains to identity and limiting beliefs. Of course it's impossible to see all of it even with well intentioned inquiry but to assume it isn't there at all and that I've now arrived in some place of total clarity is limiting in the exact same ways that are retrospectively legible/obvious.
Sasha, you are a treasure! I am twice your age with half your wisdom, so I always benefit from your writings. Thank you so much for the willingness to be so honest.
Great post, Sasha. I resonate so much with everything you say here. And your far-beyond-mediocre writing is a joy to read!
THIS:::"When this happens—when expectation breaks down, and you are living in a shipwreck of your expectations—a precious state of being can dawn, if you’re lucky. This is the state of Playing In The Ruins."... for example, is excellent, both in content as in writing style.
'Playing in the Ruins' (great image). For me the turning point was always when I realised :: this is temporary. I'm on my way out. In that moment I could genuinely appreciate the situation for what it was and become curious about what would happen next.
Ah, "the scrapyard it is." I can so relate to this and thank you for this beautiful piece. This realization, for me, has been both terrifying and wondrous, as if seeing it for the first time, as Eliot says. Aging, among other things has brought me here. I am the sum of all the things of my life, and I am none of them.
I love this. Penned a similar piece on this sentiment: “Alongside death and taxes, existence all but guarantees suffering, heartbreak, tragedy.
These elements are near-impossible to see.
When you go about your day, you are seldom aware of the woman reeling from heartbreak, the man sliding into dementia, the terrified child en route to abusive household.
Though horrific, these things make us, are us, imbue us. They mean we have not merely existed, but instead lived.
To be human is to have warts and wrinkles and scars.
To be wise is to love each and every one.
Ashes nourish soil.
Refuse bears fruit.
Crucifixion can represent perfect love.
We are all broken in some way. That, ironically, is what makes humanity whole.”
https://www.whitenoise.email/p/when-things-fall-apart
I clicked the “like” button after reading the first paragraph :)
At your best, your writing opens some weird channel between my self and something mysterious and spiritual and deeply alive. I feel like I have to sit down before I read one of your posts in case it’s another gut wrencher.
I can’t believe how many great posts I’ve read by you and been too lazy to even hit the like button. Sorry, I enjoyed them all.
I am coming from a place of high relatability to what you've written. Almost seemed like taking thoughts out of my head. I recently came across this book 'Why Greatness Cannot be Planned' which I find on similar lines. That it's difficult to track bath a path from an ambitious goal you might have and follow it. Having such a goal in itself is deceptive in a way. The conclusion is to take the next step driven by seeking novelty and satiating curiosity and after stepping a few stones, you would find yourself in a place which might not be what you had in mind at the beginning but you would be happy, comfortable and content with where you've reached.
Great few Phrases: "It’s not like I don’t believe in goals and planning, dreams and ideals. It’s just that I believe that they should drive you into the unknown, to the place where you are drowning and some part of you has to move." Thank You!
This is like wafting a delicious tray of stream entry in front of my nose. So close I can almost taste it :>
So well written - you're on your Hero's Journey - keep playing