This is highly fascinating to me. To some extent because i am on the other side of the spectrum. I can't resist the inner visuals, they are highly detailed (sometimes they seem more detailed then my "real" seeing. When a movie impresses me, when a social situation impresses me, my inner recorder replays and uses them as prompts for more inner movies. This is has the pros and cons, one can imagine :D
I think something another individual with aphantasia in the comments stated was interesting - that, more or less, they think it’s going on in the background but unconscious, as they have mild visual stimulus when laying down for bed at night.
This feels very possible - why would a brain that can conjure myriad visual stories at night not be able to imagine something consciously?
I am curious (if you found success) how you find your relationship to experience and thought and most especially your sense of self changes as you begin to have some sense of “minds eye” (again, if successful in training it!)
I am struck by the immensity of imagination that seems perhaps lost with aphantasia, and it actually makes me curious about rates of depression between those with it and those without (I suspect it’s lower with aphantasia as much of, ime, depressive thought patterns involve imaginative sense of self that is suffering, and I think my sense of self is highly related to visual stimuli)
Hopefully that was coherent lol it was kind of a lot of words
I have something like aphantasia, too. I can't picture faces, or anything artistic or detailed. I can, however, visualize graphs of functions and do anything else mathematical or physical.
I've noticed a few times that while I'm on the edge of sleep I *can* visualize, and I find this very interesting. My theory is that the visualization is happening *somewhere* in my mind, but I'm just consciously blocked on it
I'm similar. I also have difficulty reading most fiction reading, because I don't really do any internal world building — I have no visual representation of characters, don't visualize their actions, etc. As such, I have trouble staying engaged. The stories themselves feel... abstract? I do read a lot, but by far mostly nonfiction, and usually not memoirs or story-based books.
For what it's worth, most of my "reading" is via audiobooks, even for dense books (example: Douglas Hofstadter). I have no issue paying attention and following that format, while many friends mention that audiobooks are more "time fillers".
Fiction doesn't seem to be an issue for you, but I wonder if there's a wider relationship here.
Good piece. You are almost definitely Anauralic since there is a near-perfect overlap between Anauralia and Aphantasia (see study below). You almost definitely cannot reproduce sounds as well as images in your mind.
Have you noticed you can't appreciate guitar solos the way others can? Have you noticed your perception/appreciate of music is limited compared to others? I correctly guessed my friend was an Aphantasiac (and an Anauraliac) after just meeting him twice because he was unmoved by instrumental music and he said couldn't reproduce any guitar solos in his mind.
If you are indeed Anauralic, did you realize you were Anauralic before reading this comment?
Maybe you can write a similar piece on your Anauralia.
Also on r/Aphantasia there are some who claim they gained the ability to conjure mental imagery after multiple LSD trips. There have also been reported cases of people losing mental imagery after recovering from brain damage and coma. Would you consider experimenting with LSD and psychedelics to see if you can gain mental imagery? If I were in your shoes, I would.
Study: "also being categorised as anauralic. Similarly, the anauralic group reported very weak visual imagery (Mean VVIQ-M = 1.19, SD =0.88), with 97% also being categorised as aphantasic." from
actually... i am extremely good at reproducing music in my head, with a piece of music i know well, it's like i'm listening on headphones, with stereo panning and everything
(i have practiced this mental skill, i amused myself with it a lot during lonely hours as a child)
I too have aphantasia, though I found that my ability to visualize increased after a particularly high-dose and intensely vivid psychedelic experience. I am still largely unable to visualize objects, but can occasionally form outlines and even sometimes perceive details, in a very low resolution way. I see from one of your responses that you are working on a post detailing your efforts to visualize and I am curious if psychedelics are involved in that process or if they have made any changes to your aphantasia?
microdosing is playing a part! i did start the process after saying "omg this is bullshit" upon having some limited visual experiences on psychedelics :)
I too have aphantasia and found that different psychedelics have much different effects. I had a frustrating series of ayahuasca ceremonies in which the following morning would find me listening to everyone else in the room gushing about their amazing visualizations, and me being like the kid in the Charlie Brown halloween special saying "I got a rock". On the other hand, high dosages of ketamine or shrooms can open up the visual floodgates.
Very interested to read the post (or series of posts)! I had limited visual experiences at various times on mushrooms and LSD, but it was an ayahuasca ceremony that opened a completely different world of visual perception. I haven't tried to hone my visualization abilities, but am now inspired to try!
I also have aphantasia. I can imagine what some thing would look like but I can’t see it. People struggle with understanding this at times - but there’s a difference.
I can draw a square because I’ve learned what it looks like and as I start drawing I can form the shape. But I cannot visualise a building or scene to paint - I would have to copy one.
I personally don’t see any upsides. It frustrates me. Friends close their eyes and experience what sounds like a psychedelic trip. I experience blackness.
> For example, a friend told me he didn’t believe my aphantasia in light of the fact that I can play chess—how am I calculating moves if I can’t visualize?
I wonder if your friend is good at chess. I used to play chess at middle school and when I'm reflecting on the experience and what remains from the skill, it feels like calculation is just that: calculation, primarily a form of mental math. More like multiplying numbers in my head or checking if a number is prime than visualising a board. One typically doesn't imagine digits when multiplying numbers.
By the way, how good were you at playing chess blindfolded at the peak of your career? This feels like a better benchmark for how much aphantasia affects chess skill.
I thought for a long time that I had aphantasia, now I'm very confused about it. I ~definitely don't experience literal qualia when trying to visualize stuff. But at the same time, I get the impression of rich visual data. Like it is rendered into some kind of off-screen buffer. I don't get much of this spontaneously, or I don't notice I do, at least. And while in principle I'm interested in exploring this mental ability more, whether it can be developed further, I didn't spend much time practicing this yet.
One interesting thing I noticed is that I can visualize gameplay, at least for games on which I spent hundreds of hours in the past.
You know its funny, I really enjoy your writing on meditation, and I realise now that its probably because of your Aphantasia.
I've been meditating for a decade and it really threw me for a loop when I first discovered this. Especially after having spent so long in my own head. "What do you mean 'picture this' isn't a metaphor!?"
You are the first person I have ever come across who has Aphantasia and is also a serious meditator and I'm super curious: would you be up for a zoom some time? swap notes?
You just described me, and that is exactly how I feel about people who can 'visualise' stuff, I'm not even sure it's a true ability to actually 'see a red ball rolling across a table' for instance, but I'm assured it's common/normal. Aphantasia... hmmm, not a bad word I guess, I also don't remember what people look like, I remember who they are and how they behave, and also how they make me feel. I can however render a good image of most things, have even been called 'artistic'. My dreams are incredibly vivid & colourful 'pictures', in spite of my new favourite word, this aphantasia.
This is highly fascinating to me. To some extent because i am on the other side of the spectrum. I can't resist the inner visuals, they are highly detailed (sometimes they seem more detailed then my "real" seeing. When a movie impresses me, when a social situation impresses me, my inner recorder replays and uses them as prompts for more inner movies. This is has the pros and cons, one can imagine :D
I’m mostly curious after reading this about what your dreams are like? When you sleep, do you dream?
Yes I have the same question.
i have somewhat visual dreams at times! this gives me the hope that i might be able to reprogram myself
spoiler alert, this post precedes a series (or a single post) on me trying to train myself to visualize
That’s a good spoiler 😂 now I’m excited!!
I think something another individual with aphantasia in the comments stated was interesting - that, more or less, they think it’s going on in the background but unconscious, as they have mild visual stimulus when laying down for bed at night.
This feels very possible - why would a brain that can conjure myriad visual stories at night not be able to imagine something consciously?
I am curious (if you found success) how you find your relationship to experience and thought and most especially your sense of self changes as you begin to have some sense of “minds eye” (again, if successful in training it!)
I am struck by the immensity of imagination that seems perhaps lost with aphantasia, and it actually makes me curious about rates of depression between those with it and those without (I suspect it’s lower with aphantasia as much of, ime, depressive thought patterns involve imaginative sense of self that is suffering, and I think my sense of self is highly related to visual stimuli)
Hopefully that was coherent lol it was kind of a lot of words
I have something like aphantasia, too. I can't picture faces, or anything artistic or detailed. I can, however, visualize graphs of functions and do anything else mathematical or physical.
I've noticed a few times that while I'm on the edge of sleep I *can* visualize, and I find this very interesting. My theory is that the visualization is happening *somewhere* in my mind, but I'm just consciously blocked on it
I'm similar. I also have difficulty reading most fiction reading, because I don't really do any internal world building — I have no visual representation of characters, don't visualize their actions, etc. As such, I have trouble staying engaged. The stories themselves feel... abstract? I do read a lot, but by far mostly nonfiction, and usually not memoirs or story-based books.
For what it's worth, most of my "reading" is via audiobooks, even for dense books (example: Douglas Hofstadter). I have no issue paying attention and following that format, while many friends mention that audiobooks are more "time fillers".
Fiction doesn't seem to be an issue for you, but I wonder if there's a wider relationship here.
Good piece. You are almost definitely Anauralic since there is a near-perfect overlap between Anauralia and Aphantasia (see study below). You almost definitely cannot reproduce sounds as well as images in your mind.
Have you noticed you can't appreciate guitar solos the way others can? Have you noticed your perception/appreciate of music is limited compared to others? I correctly guessed my friend was an Aphantasiac (and an Anauraliac) after just meeting him twice because he was unmoved by instrumental music and he said couldn't reproduce any guitar solos in his mind.
If you are indeed Anauralic, did you realize you were Anauralic before reading this comment?
Maybe you can write a similar piece on your Anauralia.
Also on r/Aphantasia there are some who claim they gained the ability to conjure mental imagery after multiple LSD trips. There have also been reported cases of people losing mental imagery after recovering from brain damage and coma. Would you consider experimenting with LSD and psychedelics to see if you can gain mental imagery? If I were in your shoes, I would.
Study: "also being categorised as anauralic. Similarly, the anauralic group reported very weak visual imagery (Mean VVIQ-M = 1.19, SD =0.88), with 97% also being categorised as aphantasic." from
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8551557/#:~:text=As%20a%20group%2C%20the%20aphantasic,also%20being%20categorised%20as%20aphantasic.
actually... i am extremely good at reproducing music in my head, with a piece of music i know well, it's like i'm listening on headphones, with stereo panning and everything
(i have practiced this mental skill, i amused myself with it a lot during lonely hours as a child)
i also have aphantasia and i can do this fairly fine. not voices though
I too have aphantasia, though I found that my ability to visualize increased after a particularly high-dose and intensely vivid psychedelic experience. I am still largely unable to visualize objects, but can occasionally form outlines and even sometimes perceive details, in a very low resolution way. I see from one of your responses that you are working on a post detailing your efforts to visualize and I am curious if psychedelics are involved in that process or if they have made any changes to your aphantasia?
microdosing is playing a part! i did start the process after saying "omg this is bullshit" upon having some limited visual experiences on psychedelics :)
I too have aphantasia and found that different psychedelics have much different effects. I had a frustrating series of ayahuasca ceremonies in which the following morning would find me listening to everyone else in the room gushing about their amazing visualizations, and me being like the kid in the Charlie Brown halloween special saying "I got a rock". On the other hand, high dosages of ketamine or shrooms can open up the visual floodgates.
Interesting! My experience has been essentially reversed, with the note that I have not done ketamine.
Very interested to read the post (or series of posts)! I had limited visual experiences at various times on mushrooms and LSD, but it was an ayahuasca ceremony that opened a completely different world of visual perception. I haven't tried to hone my visualization abilities, but am now inspired to try!
I also have aphantasia. I can imagine what some thing would look like but I can’t see it. People struggle with understanding this at times - but there’s a difference.
I can draw a square because I’ve learned what it looks like and as I start drawing I can form the shape. But I cannot visualise a building or scene to paint - I would have to copy one.
I personally don’t see any upsides. It frustrates me. Friends close their eyes and experience what sounds like a psychedelic trip. I experience blackness.
> For example, a friend told me he didn’t believe my aphantasia in light of the fact that I can play chess—how am I calculating moves if I can’t visualize?
I wonder if your friend is good at chess. I used to play chess at middle school and when I'm reflecting on the experience and what remains from the skill, it feels like calculation is just that: calculation, primarily a form of mental math. More like multiplying numbers in my head or checking if a number is prime than visualising a board. One typically doesn't imagine digits when multiplying numbers.
And on a related note, now I'm wondering if aphantasia is completely incompatible with numbers-colors synesthesia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grapheme%E2%80%93color_synesthesia
By the way, how good were you at playing chess blindfolded at the peak of your career? This feels like a better benchmark for how much aphantasia affects chess skill.
Hmm I’m quite sure I have at least 90% this. Perhaps why I like text so much too.
I thought for a long time that I had aphantasia, now I'm very confused about it. I ~definitely don't experience literal qualia when trying to visualize stuff. But at the same time, I get the impression of rich visual data. Like it is rendered into some kind of off-screen buffer. I don't get much of this spontaneously, or I don't notice I do, at least. And while in principle I'm interested in exploring this mental ability more, whether it can be developed further, I didn't spend much time practicing this yet.
One interesting thing I noticed is that I can visualize gameplay, at least for games on which I spent hundreds of hours in the past.
I recently discovered that people actually were supposed to have mental images, and that the fact that I couldn't was actully a bug, not a feature.
Reading about it in a way that made sense to me was a very pleasant surprise. Thanks.
How does a book like The Mezzanine or The Peregrine hit you?
Hi Sasha, great post!
You know its funny, I really enjoy your writing on meditation, and I realise now that its probably because of your Aphantasia.
I've been meditating for a decade and it really threw me for a loop when I first discovered this. Especially after having spent so long in my own head. "What do you mean 'picture this' isn't a metaphor!?"
You are the first person I have ever come across who has Aphantasia and is also a serious meditator and I'm super curious: would you be up for a zoom some time? swap notes?
The most recent thing I wrote about meditation can be found here https://www.thejaymo.net/2023/01/07/301-2301-lost-in-the-woods/
Used to be like this, but have slowly developed an ability to hild fragile shaky images.
I followed plots, bit i always skipped descriptions of scenery bc it didnt add to the story
You just described me, and that is exactly how I feel about people who can 'visualise' stuff, I'm not even sure it's a true ability to actually 'see a red ball rolling across a table' for instance, but I'm assured it's common/normal. Aphantasia... hmmm, not a bad word I guess, I also don't remember what people look like, I remember who they are and how they behave, and also how they make me feel. I can however render a good image of most things, have even been called 'artistic'. My dreams are incredibly vivid & colourful 'pictures', in spite of my new favourite word, this aphantasia.