I'm not sure if the majority of this piece is really "non-mainstream", but it was nice to see this perspective laid about by you.
How generalisable is it to non-heteros? I think it works. But that’s more to do with it being good life advice. I think the big issue with trying to date, or at least open yourself up to that possibility as a gay, is that you (may) need to make more behavioural concessions and that location REALLY matters.
I basically never go to gay clubs (because my friends are all heterosexual), I live in a (very) small city and my career path so far seems to select for lower levels of homosexual men when compared against their presence in the general population (though that’s less to do with male pharmacists being extra-hetero for whatever reason, and pharmacy just being highly female dominated).
I have to use dating apps because my exposure to other gays would be zilch otherwise. Physical beauty is king, and gay men like masculinity, which plays out in it being highly performed on dating apps. If you are very average (to maybe slightly below average in attractiveness) and don't enjoy highly curating the pictures on your dating profile, the male tendency to be highly physically focused is going to kick you in the nuts. You can then also try Grindr which is... The most potent of behavioural-sinks lol.
So yea. Then again most of this issue would be solved by just moving to a bigger place and being more extroverted! :p
I'm not sure if the majority of this piece is really "non-mainstream", but it was nice to see this perspective laid about by you.
How generalisable is it to non-heteros? I think it works. But that’s more to do with it being good life advice. I think the big issue with trying to date, or at least open yourself up to that possibility as a gay, is that you (may) need to make more behavioural concessions and that location REALLY matters.
I basically never go to gay clubs (because my friends are all heterosexual), I live in a (very) small city and my career path so far seems to select for lower levels of homosexual men when compared against their presence in the general population (though that’s less to do with male pharmacists being extra-hetero for whatever reason, and pharmacy just being highly female dominated).
I have to use dating apps because my exposure to other gays would be zilch otherwise. Physical beauty is king, and gay men like masculinity, which plays out in it being highly performed on dating apps. If you are very average (to maybe slightly below average in attractiveness) and don't enjoy highly curating the pictures on your dating profile, the male tendency to be highly physically focused is going to kick you in the nuts. You can then also try Grindr which is... The most potent of behavioural-sinks lol.
So yea. Then again most of this issue would be solved by just moving to a bigger place and being more extroverted! :p