I was at a karaoke night with friends recently - so often at such events I'm way too in my head - but inspired by something you wrote, I gently tried to broaden out my attention. And it helped a lot.
Instead of trying to 'think' my way into the 'right' behavior, I'd keep noticing the cool little invitations right in front of me - 'oh look my friend is trying to make eye contact LETS SING TOGETHER.' There are so many signals worth taking in if I just broaden my awareness.
Some of what you describe here - if I cultivate this stuff when I'm with others - appears integral for polishing my social skills, of all things! So, thanks
This post shows up right on time when I just came back 3 days ago from my 10-day vipassana meditation when I was embarking meditation for 6-8 hours a day for 10 days.
I couldn't agree for more. I wish I could have read it before the retreat, but I've learned a lot during the process at the monastery. I think you've made the process much easier for new people to understand, but again, only by practicing it so more people can relate.
Some key takeaways for meditation:
- It is a hard habit to start and sustain unless you have experienced what does it feel to be enlightened. To feel oneness and wholesome in yourself. This takes a lot of effort. You need to enjoy the process.
- For me, mindful walking is the quickest way to be engaged and focused into the present moment. Just be aware the way you walk and walk very slowly.
- When I was first starting it, my teacher monk only told me to observe my thoughts and listen to my abdomen by breathing but without forcing the way I breath, e.g. deep inhale/exhale. Then, I realized it was easier if I listen to my breath compare to abdomen. So, I sticked to the breath, and it works!
- Then, I expanded my awareness into the body scan. It's basically touching your part of body by using your mind. This is definitely hard to digest when the monk told me for the first time. Only by practicing it I could notice it eventually, and it allows me to feel the present moment with more richness as now I can feel the part of my body.
- Do not force anything to happen. Since I've felt what does it feel to be enligthened (peaceful, calm, empty), sometimes I tried to force my act to get calm faster, such as playing around with how long do I inhale/exhale, the posture of my body, forcing awareness to the room and temperature, etc, but it didn't work that way. Let it come naturally without forcing anything to happen because there's nothing wrong and nothing to be fixed or improved. The more you try to fix/improve, the less calm you are. 100% agree with Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”
- Make sure to Begin Again. Ability to begin again is necessary during meditation. Sometimes our minds are drifted away. We lost in thoughts for God knows how long. Begin again shows a willingness to return to the moment without judgement and disappointment with a mind that is truly free of the past. Begin again is also an ethical force. It’s a foundation of forgiveness. We should forgive our pasts. It builds the resiliency of our minds.
I wish the monk explained it more clearly based on this post, rather than told me to just sit and observe my thoughts without judgements. It took more time but I learned the hard way :)
This might be the post that convinces me to try meditation. I feel like I already do the one-pointed attention thing when listening to music deeply. Now I just need to label it and make it an intentional practice, apparently.
This is awesome! Thank you for the reminder. I came to the realization, at some point last year, that that was precisely what I was doing during many sits : ''' a venue for staging another fight between you and how you’re supposed to be''.
It's still new, oddly freeing (''I'm allowed to just do that?!'') to envision my practice as more relaxing than striving towards something. Curiosity does need relaxation as a background, at least for me. It brings me joy to see it all laid out like this in your nice and simple words.
I've never really ("successfully") meditated, but what you describe is how I feel (most of the time) while swimming. I will try these ideas on dry land!
Did my first self-initiated 3 min meditation this morning, after watching and reading lots of things about meditating I finally am starting it! Thanks for the great information! :))
> For the vast majority of people, it is easier, more calming, and more natural to maintain a broad, expansive awareness than it is to narrow awareness down to a few sensations.
I tried doing the exercise that followed this passage, and for me, when I try to make my awareness, "become as broad and inclusive as possible—notice the fullness of your peripheral vision, the richness of body sensation, the temperature in the room, the air around your head" etc, then, in a matter of seconds into doing this, I start feeling a bit tingly around my feet and a bit uncomfortable - it feels too intense.
In contrast, when I narrow my focus to, say, my breath, and try to pay close attention to it, that doesn't feel too intense, but it becomes about being able to concentrate.
For me, the thing that feels easier, and more natural is perhaps something in the middle. My awareness isn't so expansive as to be taking in peripheral stuff, but also not trying to focus on one thing - this is how I imagine I spend most of my day, and it probably isn't 'meditative'.
Mainly wanted to note that if it's indeed true that 'maximally expansive' awareness feels comfortable for the vast majority of people, then perhaps I fall in the minority. But also possible that I'm misinterpreting things.
I very much like the ideas around 'wholehearted attempt to be thoroughly alive to your experience for one full breath' and stuff you mentioned about Loch Kelly having his big unlock during soccer practice.
So I'm going out on a limb here as I have quite a niche problem but for me meditating consistently triggers mild derealisation, i.e. everything looks weird, foggy and unreal for an hour or so afterwards. It's not disabling but unpleasant enough that I've had to stop practise. Have you encountered this before? Not sure if I should simply give up practise or if there are ways of working with this issue (n.b bringing mindfulness to the altered states makes it more intense)
Loved this, Sasha! It makes meditation more approachable - particularly the expanded awareness aspect of meditation. Do you think this approach works equally well for someone who's extremely busy and can only find short, sporadic moments to meditate?
This was probably the most helpful thing I’ve read on meditation. Thank you
Broad awareness (vs. narrow awareness).
Collectedness (vs. concentration).
I was at a karaoke night with friends recently - so often at such events I'm way too in my head - but inspired by something you wrote, I gently tried to broaden out my attention. And it helped a lot.
Instead of trying to 'think' my way into the 'right' behavior, I'd keep noticing the cool little invitations right in front of me - 'oh look my friend is trying to make eye contact LETS SING TOGETHER.' There are so many signals worth taking in if I just broaden my awareness.
Some of what you describe here - if I cultivate this stuff when I'm with others - appears integral for polishing my social skills, of all things! So, thanks
This post shows up right on time when I just came back 3 days ago from my 10-day vipassana meditation when I was embarking meditation for 6-8 hours a day for 10 days.
I couldn't agree for more. I wish I could have read it before the retreat, but I've learned a lot during the process at the monastery. I think you've made the process much easier for new people to understand, but again, only by practicing it so more people can relate.
Some key takeaways for meditation:
- It is a hard habit to start and sustain unless you have experienced what does it feel to be enlightened. To feel oneness and wholesome in yourself. This takes a lot of effort. You need to enjoy the process.
- For me, mindful walking is the quickest way to be engaged and focused into the present moment. Just be aware the way you walk and walk very slowly.
- When I was first starting it, my teacher monk only told me to observe my thoughts and listen to my abdomen by breathing but without forcing the way I breath, e.g. deep inhale/exhale. Then, I realized it was easier if I listen to my breath compare to abdomen. So, I sticked to the breath, and it works!
- Then, I expanded my awareness into the body scan. It's basically touching your part of body by using your mind. This is definitely hard to digest when the monk told me for the first time. Only by practicing it I could notice it eventually, and it allows me to feel the present moment with more richness as now I can feel the part of my body.
- Do not force anything to happen. Since I've felt what does it feel to be enligthened (peaceful, calm, empty), sometimes I tried to force my act to get calm faster, such as playing around with how long do I inhale/exhale, the posture of my body, forcing awareness to the room and temperature, etc, but it didn't work that way. Let it come naturally without forcing anything to happen because there's nothing wrong and nothing to be fixed or improved. The more you try to fix/improve, the less calm you are. 100% agree with Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”
- Make sure to Begin Again. Ability to begin again is necessary during meditation. Sometimes our minds are drifted away. We lost in thoughts for God knows how long. Begin again shows a willingness to return to the moment without judgement and disappointment with a mind that is truly free of the past. Begin again is also an ethical force. It’s a foundation of forgiveness. We should forgive our pasts. It builds the resiliency of our minds.
I wish the monk explained it more clearly based on this post, rather than told me to just sit and observe my thoughts without judgements. It took more time but I learned the hard way :)
This whole series has been incredible. Nothing has helped me more as a meditator.
This might be the post that convinces me to try meditation. I feel like I already do the one-pointed attention thing when listening to music deeply. Now I just need to label it and make it an intentional practice, apparently.
This is awesome! Thank you for the reminder. I came to the realization, at some point last year, that that was precisely what I was doing during many sits : ''' a venue for staging another fight between you and how you’re supposed to be''.
It's still new, oddly freeing (''I'm allowed to just do that?!'') to envision my practice as more relaxing than striving towards something. Curiosity does need relaxation as a background, at least for me. It brings me joy to see it all laid out like this in your nice and simple words.
I've never really ("successfully") meditated, but what you describe is how I feel (most of the time) while swimming. I will try these ideas on dry land!
Are you involved with evolving ground/vajrayana?
This post reminds me of Chapman's https://vividness.live site and related actors, particularly the life-affirming self-love open awareness vibe.
Did my first self-initiated 3 min meditation this morning, after watching and reading lots of things about meditating I finally am starting it! Thanks for the great information! :))
Thank you Sasha for mentioning me! Hope you are well!
Wondering if there's any difference between meditation and daydreaming in terms of the mental state and the effect they produce on the body?
Great post. Do you usually use an app or any type of recording when you sit, or do you just... do it?
> For the vast majority of people, it is easier, more calming, and more natural to maintain a broad, expansive awareness than it is to narrow awareness down to a few sensations.
I tried doing the exercise that followed this passage, and for me, when I try to make my awareness, "become as broad and inclusive as possible—notice the fullness of your peripheral vision, the richness of body sensation, the temperature in the room, the air around your head" etc, then, in a matter of seconds into doing this, I start feeling a bit tingly around my feet and a bit uncomfortable - it feels too intense.
In contrast, when I narrow my focus to, say, my breath, and try to pay close attention to it, that doesn't feel too intense, but it becomes about being able to concentrate.
For me, the thing that feels easier, and more natural is perhaps something in the middle. My awareness isn't so expansive as to be taking in peripheral stuff, but also not trying to focus on one thing - this is how I imagine I spend most of my day, and it probably isn't 'meditative'.
Mainly wanted to note that if it's indeed true that 'maximally expansive' awareness feels comfortable for the vast majority of people, then perhaps I fall in the minority. But also possible that I'm misinterpreting things.
I very much like the ideas around 'wholehearted attempt to be thoroughly alive to your experience for one full breath' and stuff you mentioned about Loch Kelly having his big unlock during soccer practice.
So I'm going out on a limb here as I have quite a niche problem but for me meditating consistently triggers mild derealisation, i.e. everything looks weird, foggy and unreal for an hour or so afterwards. It's not disabling but unpleasant enough that I've had to stop practise. Have you encountered this before? Not sure if I should simply give up practise or if there are ways of working with this issue (n.b bringing mindfulness to the altered states makes it more intense)
Loved this, Sasha! It makes meditation more approachable - particularly the expanded awareness aspect of meditation. Do you think this approach works equally well for someone who's extremely busy and can only find short, sporadic moments to meditate?
brilliant stuff, thank you.