oh yeah interesting, this sounds like a phase i went through where i was like, "oh, my awareness is expansive, better make sure it stays expansive," and then i was subtly rejecting any state that wasn't contracted and sort of mentally insisting on spaciousness
it's funny because you know deep down that nothing can really perturb awareness…
oh yeah interesting, this sounds like a phase i went through where i was like, "oh, my awareness is expansive, better make sure it stays expansive," and then i was subtly rejecting any state that wasn't contracted and sort of mentally insisting on spaciousness
it's funny because you know deep down that nothing can really perturb awareness, but some part of you naturally goes like, "let's keep this thing going, awareness awareness awareness"
the thing that got me past this stage was a tip from roger thisdell: try hard to boot up a contracted self within expanded awareness, like a bunch of tight self-referential thoughts, watch that boot up, then relax and watch it slip away. is it made of anything substantial? can that really do anything to the awareness? doing that over and over again was really fun, psychoactive, and got me past the idea that i had to do something to maintain the fabric of reality
also, one approach, sort of a take on advice michael taft gave me once, might be to make sure that you're also objectifying and including the part of you that's afraid that awareness is going to slip away, put that in the lens too
oh yeah interesting, this sounds like a phase i went through where i was like, "oh, my awareness is expansive, better make sure it stays expansive," and then i was subtly rejecting any state that wasn't contracted and sort of mentally insisting on spaciousness
it's funny because you know deep down that nothing can really perturb awareness, but some part of you naturally goes like, "let's keep this thing going, awareness awareness awareness"
the thing that got me past this stage was a tip from roger thisdell: try hard to boot up a contracted self within expanded awareness, like a bunch of tight self-referential thoughts, watch that boot up, then relax and watch it slip away. is it made of anything substantial? can that really do anything to the awareness? doing that over and over again was really fun, psychoactive, and got me past the idea that i had to do something to maintain the fabric of reality
also, one approach, sort of a take on advice michael taft gave me once, might be to make sure that you're also objectifying and including the part of you that's afraid that awareness is going to slip away, put that in the lens too
ymmv!
sounds like things are going great :)
Thank you!! What a helpful reply :) :)
literally always happy to nerd out about the fine details of this territory